From 32 to 1, presenting the Shutdown Corner preseason power rankings

From 32 to 1, presenting the Shutdown Corner preseason power rankings

Mayhem is Everywhere

By Frank Schwab | Shutdown Corner

Before the season kicks off a month from today in Denver, as the Ravens begin their Super Bowl defense against the Broncos, there will be more news that changes our views on teams.

For now, here are the Shutdown Corner preseason power rankings in case you missed any, from 32 to 1. The preview for each team is linked on the team name.

32. Oakland Raiders
Best-case scenario: Get Jadeveon Clowney, have a franchise player to build around.
31. Jacksonville Jaguars
Can’t win without a quarterback.
30. Arizona Cardinals
Their offense was a question mark even before running backs started getting banged up.
29. Buffalo Bills
It’ll be a productive season if E.J. Manuel shows he’s the clear QB of the future.
28. Cleveland Browns
Can see Browns moving up quickly, but Brandon Weeden’s camp struggles are a concern.
27. Tennessee Titans
Titans need to be a lot better on defense to move up.
26. Kansas City Chiefs
Honestly, the Chiefs are too low right here. This ranking should change in a hurry.
25. New York Jets
Get ready to see Geno Smith, because that seems to be the direction we’re headed.
24. San Diego Chargers
Still haven’t seen anything to indicate they won’t drop like a rock this year.
23. Philadelphia Eagles
They will be plenty happy when games start and the focus can be on football.
22. Miami Dolphins
Their left tackle situation is a mess, but Dion Jordan already looks like an intriguing rookie.
21. St. Louis Rams
Lot of pressure on Sam Bradford, especially if the no-name running backs don’t produce.
20. Minnesota Vikings
If the rookies come along fast, not out of the question for them to return to the playoffs.
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Darrelle Revis should be ready by Week 1. Real question is, will Josh Freeman show up?
18. Dallas Cowboys
Get ready to enjoy Jason Garrett’s lame duck season.
17. Detroit Lions
The pieces are there for them to take a big jump, but the secondary is still shaky.
16. Pittsburgh Steelers
Defense will be good. Will Le’Veon Bell and the receivers produce for the offense?
15. Indianapolis Colts
If you told me we’ll consider Andrew Luck a top three QB by season’s end, I’d believe it.
14. New Orleans Saints
Sean Payton’s return doesn’t completely fix a horrendous defense.
13. Chicago Bears
Don’t forget, the Bears were 7-1 before Jay Cutler suffered a concussion last year.
12. New York Giants
If Hakeem Nicks can stay healthy (yeah, we know, it’s unlikely), then watch out.
11. Carolina Panthers
Still haven’t changed my opinion that this is the NFL’s breakout team in 2013.

For the top 10 and #1. CLICK HERE <——–=============

The Perspective ** From Fantasy Football to Bad Playoff NFL predictions

The Perspective ** From Fantasy Football to Bad Playoff NFL predictions

Slippery when wet

Home team in CAPS

Cincinnati versus HOUSTON

Seems like Houston is in trouble lately and the Bengals are under the radar… forget what you know.
Houston is too good and will flip the switch.

Texans – 27 Cincy – 21

Minnesota versus GREEN BAY

We understand that Adrian Peterson should be the MVP and he is the feel good story of the regular season. We love, “All Day” and regret not drafting him in our FF league. But we also love reality… and Christian Ponder is sober, real.
Green Bay has very little running game, but they don’t need it.

GB – 38 Vikings – 17

Indianapolis versus BALTIMORE

Chuckstrong vs. Ray Lewis’s retirement
Andrew Luck vs. Ray Rice & Wacko Flacco
Overachieving lucky team versus contender experiencing all kinds of injuries.

Ravens – 29 Colts – 27

Seattle versus Washington

One of the coolest games we could see save for Brady v. Manning IV.
Seattle and Washington have both gone 7-1 over the second half of the season and both look strong.
On that same note, Seattle did play one of the toughest schedules in the league this year. The faults are easy to spot though.
Seattle at home is money in the bank. On the road, its like a crumpled dollar bill in a vending machine… they tend to let you down.
The RG3’s or team formerly known as the Redskins, have a solid running game predicated on strong passing numbers from Bob. It’s the defense that shines though and playing at home will be the 12th man they need.

Gonna be a slugfest and a close one.

I give the nod to Russell Wilson and The Beast.

Seahawks – 23 RG3’s Skins’ – 17

Week 8 Fantasy Football Like/Dislike player recommendations – * The Perspective * Pulp Fiction Style!

Week 8 Fantasy Football Like/Dislike player recommendations – * The Perspective * Pulp Fiction Style!

pulp-fiction

What is the theme of this list?
What is going on here with * The Perspective *?
What…
“Say ‘WHAT’ one more time… Mofo!

Players I like… (Note* Players I like and dislike, simply means, I like these guys more then usual this week. I won’t mention every QB or RB that is a stud, because its too obvious, like Arian Foster or Aaron Rodgers. If those players aren’t on a BYE, your starting them regardless… Anyhow, I digress.)

Peyton Manning – Love him on the big stage against a non-defense.
Andrew Luck – Tennessee defense is a misnomer unto itself.
Carson Palmer – In lieu of McFadden performing, Palmer may be forced to throw a lot.
Eli Manning – Seems like a possible shootout
Tony Romo – Seems like a possible shootout
Robert Griffin 3 – The Pittsburgh defense is relying on yesteryears hype. They’re good, but not that good.

Marcellus?

QB’s I dislike…this week.

Philip Rivers – Just because
Sam Bradford – He will probably throw a lot against NE’s defense to try and keep Rams in the game, but i think a good number of passes find the ground or DB’s.
Kolb/Skelton – 49ers defense. No thanks.

RB’s I like this week…

Chris Johnson – I very much dislike that i’m putting him on this list. He is so schitzo this season. but Indy provides a cushion to his fall and he responds well to cushions.
Mike Leshoure – Calvin johnson is always covered this season. Only other option is LeShoure.
Vick Ballard – by default
Kendall Hunter – could see lots of work against Arizona. They want to keep ball out of Alex Smith’s hands and Frank Gore healthy-ish.
Ryan Matthews – If there is one thing the Browns allow, its RB’s to amass FF pts. This should be a solid game for rushing yards and check down passes.
Darren Sproles – Against the Denver rush, he will be used as screener and check down guy. I could see him getting 7-11 catches.

RB’s to dislike this week…
LaRod Stephens-Howling – 49ers defense. Enough said.
Felix Jones – Oy Vey Felix.
Steven Jackson – In a clear timeshare with D-Richardson.
Michael Turner – Not that good. Not that bad. I just dislike him this week.
Jamaal Charles – I think Oakland stacks against the rush and begs Brady Quinn to throw.

How to plan for a hurricane

WR’s I like…

Lance Moore – see NO vs. Den.
Eric Decker – see above.
Andre Roberts – Larry Fitz is going to be smothered.
Percy Harvin – snuck him in here! Lawd have Percy!!
Wes Welker – Should reign supreme against Rams!
Jeremy Maclin – Hip is fine!
James Jones/ Randall Cobb – Should light it up this week
Nate Washington – Indy defense
Miles Austin – not Dez Bryant this week.

WR’s to avoid this week…
Dez Bryant – just a hunch – Again, obviously unless you have someone better, you start him!
Dwayne Bowe – Oakland CB’s and DB’s and Safety & Brady Quinn at QB
Steve Smith – Bears D
Brandon Lloyd – I think he doesn’t have the chops to get open like he used to.

DEFENSES
Likes
Miami
Oakland
Detroit
New England

Dislikes
St. Louis
Seattle
Carolina
Ny Giants

*The Perspective * ~ Fantasy Football — Week 4 recap & Week 5 coverage

*The Perspective * ~ Fantasy Football — Week 4 recap & Week 5 coverage

Duck Attack

Who, Who, Who? Who let the Duck’s out?

Well, well, well. Last week was a doozy with most matchups ending in sheer carnage. We had one battle that came down to the last minutes of the monday night game and ended in what you might call an upset… certainly it stayed true to the winner’s team name!

Last week my predictions of the games finished, 6-0. Yes indeed, Ladies and Gents… I am amazing and for only $0.00 you can get my weekly SRQ fantasy football matchup picks delivered straight to your home Atari computer!
That brings me to 16-8 on the season. Not that anyone outside of… me, cares about this, but similar to a cat and a cat toy, I have to entertain myself. (That’s what she said!)

Entertaining yourself!

Onto Week 4 Recaps… As always, I start with the highest scoring winner and work my way down to the lowest scoring winner.

Rodgers A Doodle Doo – 162 A LONG Road ahead – 93
The road is even longer now. And lonelier. LONG road is the last remaining team to go winless through week 4 and they did it in glorious fashion as Rodgers Doo, just went off like a… like a… similar to a… I guess, a light. He went off like a light.

Team Pounder – 150 In-Zane in the Membrane – 120
In-Zane had a good week, but as you can obviously see, Pounder Pounded. He made Membrane into a Pound Cake. He Pounded like Bam-Bam. He went all whopper like a Quarter Pounder! Pounder remains one of two teams to continue the undefeated ways 4 weeks in. Looking unstoppable!

Team A-Shift Rules – 146 Team 3-Peat Zalla – 81
The other undefeated team in the league, showed why with a stomping of the defending champ, dropping her to 1-3. Its a turning point for 3-Peat these next 2 weeks! A-shift just keeps on cruising ahead and a showdown with Pounder looms in the future!

Charles in charge – 139 Gippers Gangsters – 115
Both teams were good enough to win this week, unfortunately they played each other and Jared had the stronger players! Somehow Charles in Charge overcame 5 INT’s from ROMO. Oh yeah, Roddy white scored 34 FF Pts. That’ll do it! Both teams find themselves 2-2 and positioned well for the remaining 2/3 of the season.

Dreznin Style – 136 Jace Invaders – 90
Whew. Drew Brees leads all scorers this week and just in time. 1-3 Dreznin rebounds from the gutter to put a win on the board, while Jace returns to .500 at 2-2 on the season. The invaders are primed to meet next weeks matchup heads up!

ComebackKid – 116 Victory Cruz – 114
The best matchup of the week that never should’ve happened. A kicker on Monday night outpoints a backup goal-line RB and ComebackKid lives up to his name to sneak away with a win. Only…Victory Cruz started Pittsburgh defense who are normally worth way more then 2 points, only they actually didn’t play in Week 4 as they were making sure Ben Roethelisberger stayed out of trouble. Then again, a win is a win.

WEEK 5 pick-ups

Ok, these pick-ups, waiver wire guys and “sleepers” are getting more obvious and less common each week.

Brian Hartline – WR Dolphins
Brandon Bolden – RB New England
Domenik Hixon – WR NY Giants – aka-Former Akron Zip!
Kendall Hunter – RB SF 49ers – Seems to be getting a larger role each progressive week
Nick Novak – K SD Chargers – If you need a kicker, then Novak is the guy, as Kaeding looks like he could be done for the season and the chargers score a lot.
Matt Hasselbeck – QB Tenn Titans – Other then the fact that Tennessee sucks, they will have matchups from time to time, where they can put up some points… Thanks Detroit!

Onto the Week 5 SRQ matchups.
This week I want to compare each matchup to a character from a Will Farrell Movie… so on that note, let’s “Shake n’ Bake!”

Harold Crick

Harold Crick Matchup
Team Pounder (4-0) v. Rodgers A-Doodle-Doo (2-2)
A confused but organized mix of chaos and success. Does routine, remain in motion or does chaos reign supreme!! If there was a week to rise up, this is it.
Rodgers – 144 Pounder – 125

Talladega-Nights

Talledega Nights
Team A-Shift Rules (4-0) v. A LONG Road Ahead (0-4)
Jean Girard versus Ricky Bobby. Is it “Hakuna Matata, bitches!” time? or will we hear the cut-down, “Ladies and Gentlemen, that is a new track record. As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting on the pole, which is a statement of fact, and is in no way a comment on the driver’s sexual orientation. ” Danny is hoping that Cal Naughton Jr., doesn’t start to look at him and his fantasy team as he does jesus, “Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to picture Jesus as a figure skater. He wears like a white outfit, and He does interpretive ice dances of my life’s journey. “… Let’s all hope that’s the case!
notwithstanding the above… A-Shift- 138 LONG- 126

Anchorman

The Anchorman: Ron Burgandy Matchup
Charles in Charge (2-2) v. ComeBackKid (3-1)
Someone in this matchup has many leather bound books and their abode smells like mahogany. I’ll let you figure out which one is which.
Earlier this week, this smack talk was overheard between these two arch rivals! “I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.” We’ll let you decide who said it to who!

Me thinks this will closer then ESPN postulates. In fact, i’m picking an upset.
ComeBackKid – 119 Charles – 117

Step-Brothers

Step Brothers Matchup
Gippers Gangsters (2-2) v. Jace Invaders (2-2)
Brennan Huff taking on Dale Doback! One person will tea bag your drum set the other comes from a house of learned doctors. Despite their vast differences, they can both agree that their favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to is unequivocally, Good Housekeeping! On that note…
Gippers – 108 J-Invaders – 107

frank the tank

buddy-the-elf

Old School/Elf Matchup
In-Zane in the Membrane (2-2) v. Victory Cruz (1-3)
A cross between Frank “The Tank” Ricard and Buddy the Elf! They both like candy and beer! Both teams can rebuild a Camaro or draw a Manger scene on an etch-a-sketch! Both teams enjoy streaking and yet, both enjoy wearing green velvet elf outfits. Ironically, both owners’ middle name is Francisco!
This one seems too close to call.
We hypothesize…
Membrane – 117 Victory – 114

The-Other-Guys

The Other Guys Matchup
Dreznin Style (1-3) v. Team 3-peat Zalla (1-3)
Sometimes, you are a peacock and you just have to fly! Other times, your a lion and a tuna is stalking you. We have all been there and its glorious, once you get over that wall! Anyhow, a depressing and monumental matchup of the past 2 seasons top two teams as they both try to right the ship and mount a charge back to the top of the standings! We’ll see who gets off the best Desk Pop!
Dre Style – 127 3-Peat Zalla – 122

Have a great week!

A Season on the Brink. Week 3 recap & week 4 predictions * The Perspective (*w/ brief recap of week 2)

A Season on the Brink. Week 3 recap & week 4 predictions (*w/ brief recap of week 2)

It’s Kind of Good!

Sound the Alarms!!! Is it too early to start panicking if your 0-3 or 1-2?
The answer is NO! Now is a great time to start to start planning for some changes or aggressive moves. If not now… when? 0-4 could very well stand for off-season and 1-3 or 2-2 gives hope where its desperately needed.

Here are some interesting numbers from Matthew Berry at ESPN regarding the percentages of making or missing the playoffs depending on winning or losing the next weeks game.

Recapping Week 3
Just like week 2, a couple of players completely and totally wreaked havoc upon a team.
Week 2 examples – Eli Manning – 49 pts & Bob Griffin3 – 42 pts (although we expect QB’s to wreak havoc, but more guys with names like Rodgers, Brady and Brees)
Reggie Bush – 39 pts
Victor Cruz – 35 pts (because it’s still so fresh)
and RB CJ Spiller with 30 pts

Week 3 Break Outs
Jamaal Charles – 46 pts – (Of course I played against him. “Please keep handing the ball to Jamaal! Let’s get him 300 yards rushing!” ~ Things I may have sarcastically yelled at the television
Andy “The Ginja Ninja” Dalton – 43 pts (another QB… just not the one we expected!)
Chicago Defense – TD, TD 42 pts
A.J. Green – 35 pts
MoJo-drew – 34 pts

8 of the 10 stars above helped their respective fantasy teams reach victory! The 2 that didn’t, of course faced other teams with the other 8 players on them. The point being that most weeks, you just never know who is going to bust out or go off… but you can pretty much rest assured that they wont be from Cleveland, St. Louis or Tampa Bay.

My week 3 picks were 3 correct and 3 incorrect and after tallying the Week 2 predictions at 4-2, that leaves me at 10-8. At least I’m getting something right. Oy Vey!

In keeping in line with missing my picks on a regular basis, here is a link to Bill Simmons’ of Grantland, on his week 4 picks and some reader’s mail. Good stuff!

Week 3 game recaps are as follows;
Pounder – 144 ComebackKid – 116
Well, if my preseason prediction is correct, 9 consecutive losses should take place now and Pounder will finish the season 3-9. I’m willing to take my lumps and say, I may have called that a tad wrong. Just. A. Tad. The craziest part about the 144 points is that Pounder left 30 points on the bench by starting different players. Scary good start to the season. Harumphhh to the rookie, Mr. Clark!!
ComebackKid will be fine, but sometimes you are the bug, sometimes your the windshield… Really, any scoring day over 105 points is solid in this league, so 116 is spilled milk.

That’s One in a Row – 127 Oy Vey – 111
That is indeed 1 in a row. “Serenity Now, Serenity Now, Serenity Now!!!” ~ Things I’m saying as I write this…
Seriously, everything looked golden and I was dreaming about my 1st win of the season and how to best gloat humbly through this blog. Then Jamaal Charles slowly walked over, stared me down, reached out, ripped the still beating heart from my chest and threw it across the room. (Too much?) I kept pleading with myself as if I was talking to Kansas City’s coaches, saying things like, “What about Payton Hillis?” “What about Dwayne Bowe?” “What about Priest Holmes?” “Please take your foot off my throat Mr. Charles!” Sadly, no one was listening to the last beats of my heart as Jamaal caught another pass and took it to the house in the background, of the horrific scene…
Congrats to 1 in a row, as they get off the schneid (which reminds me… Happy Yom Kippur!)and settles in at 1-2.

Gippers Gangsters – 126 Victory Cruz – 98
A tri-fecta of players clinched this win. Bears D (42), Peyton (27)(the original) and Mike Wallace (24) scored 93 pts. A valiant effort from Cruz’s MoJo-Drew (34) but alas, not to be. That’s another newbie near the top of the league. The veteran’s of this league have officially been put on notice! The rookie’s mean business.

In-Zane in the Membrane – 115 A Stafford Infection – 100
Congrats to Danny for scoring 100 points. His team is having identity issues these days. Matt Stafford is struggling, Chris Johnson is who we thought he is, a bench warmer and possibly the earliest pick to end up on the waiver wire w/o an injury and Kevin Smith just lost his job to Mike LeShoure.
In-Zane isn’t much better, when you really break this down. Andy Dalton had a great matchup and exploited it for (46 pts) all it was worth. Reduce this to his average effort (20 pts) and its a loss. But we could play hypothetical’s all day. A win is a win!

Team A-Shift Rules – 111 Jace Invaders – 68
The worst showing since Carl Lewis or Roseanne Barr tried to sing the national anthem. It was fugly. Take away Darren McFadden’s (25 pt) effort and it sets catastrophic lows, but it only leaves Jace at 2-1, and later this season no one will remember this as more then a loss.
As for our other rookie, 3-0 and no looking back. We could use some replacement referee’s for this fantasy league!!

Team 3-peat Zalla – 98 Rodgers A-Doodle Doo – 80
Like a monkey with brain damage trying to peel a banana, this matchup was sad, comical and uplifting all at the same time! Oh, Aaron Rodgers, where art thou? 7 points, when we needed 37 points!! Alfred Morris (is that Batman’s butler??) and Andre “3000” Brown are scoring machines! I’m nervous for both these teams (let alone, my team).

Gangnam Style!

See more on Know Your Meme

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See more on [URL=http://knowyourmeme.com]Know Your Meme[/URL]

Onward to the week 4 matchups and quick picks.
In-Zane (2-1) vs. Pounder (3-0)
I’m exhausted and I have no idea.
Pounder – 121 In-Zane – 119

A-Shift (3-0) vs. 3-Peat Zalla (1-2)
Matchups look too juicy!
A-shift – 133 3-Peat – 113

ComeBackKid (2-1) vs. Victory (1-2)
Another matchup mismatch.
ComeBackKid – 118 Victory – 112

Gangsters (2-1) vs. in a Row (1-2)
Upset special. I’m really just looking at player matchups this week and it seems to bode well for In A Row.
In A Row – 117 Gangsters – 97

Jace Invaders – (2-1) vs. Oy Vey (0-3)
I can’t believe I’m winless 3 weeks in. This is the week that breaks that streak!! I’m calling it = A replacement ref makes a horrible call that results in my player scoring just enought to eek out a win.
ZOHAN LIVES!!
Oy Vey – 108 Jace – 107

Rodgers (1-2) vs. Stafford (0-3)
I think this week is when most of Rodgers team remembers how to play football.
Rodgers – 135 Stafford – 88

As for some players I think will do well this upcoming week…

Tom Brady and Wes Welker facing Buffalo should equal fantasy success!!

Aaron Rodgers – New Orleans defense will get discount double checked!

Alfred Morris – Kind of like this matchup against Tampa Bay for the young RB.

Adrian Peterson – faces detroit…so yeah.

Calvin Johnson – faces Minnesota passing defense… so yeah.

Percy Harvin – again, facing Detroit passing defense… so ummmm, yeah.

Darren McFadden – love this matchup against Denver running defense

Jamaal Charles – still on fire

Jermichael Finley – Gets back on track against New Orleans

Ray Rice – Cleveland? Reality check. Rice should battle Arian Foster for top RB this week.

I realize most of those picks were on the surface and rather easy. So here are a few deeper picks.

Matt Ryan – facing Carolina
Ryan Fitzpatrick – facing New England and will most likely have to play catch up in scoring
Drew Brees – Again. I realize it’s a rather easy pick, but I can see Brees having to throw 55 times to try and rally from a huge deficit.
Jacob Tamme – Oakland is weak against TE’s
Owen Daniels – Going to reign havoc on Tennessee defense. I guess no football teams in Tennessee are that good. Ouch! Too soon?
Matt Schaub – revenge for the ear ripping and its also tennessee…
Finally I think Jordy Nelson finds paydirt this weekend.

Have a great week and like Tupac once harmonized…, “Ya Got to keepa your head up!”

2012-2013 NFL Division winners, Wildcard and Super Bowl predictions

ORIGINAL PREDICTIONS;

2012-2013 NFL Division Champs, Wildcard & Super Bowl prediction

NFL Cheerleaders 1

NFL Cheerleader 2

A-Tampa-Bay-Cheerleader-nfl-cheerleaders

Predicting to the OLDIES!!!

NFC Division Winners;
Giants (I really wanted to go Philly here, but I am forcing myself to go NYG. Just a hunch)
Packers (Just too strong not to be here)
Falcons (Panthers & Bucs are gonna make this close)
49ers (A No Brainer)

Wildcards – Buccaneers & Eagles

AFC Division Winners
Patriots (Jets and Bills will battle for second)
Chargers (Really? If not them, then whom? Denver & Peyton?)
Ravens (Big Ben staying healthy is the hunch that swayed me)
Texans (This division is weak)

Wildcards – Steelers & Denver

SUPER BOWL

S.F. 49ers vs Houston Texans

SB Champion = S.F. 49ers

Our Vote for Replacement Referees!

my choice for replacement refs

Just for keeping the ego in checks’ sake… Here are last years predictions. <——– CLICK HERE

Welcome to the SRQ 2012 Fantasy Football Season

Welcome to the SRQ 2012 Fantasy Football Season

Brief Draft Recap & Team by Team season predictions

DRAFT RECAP brought to you by Sean Dreznin and Tom Hanks

Tom Hanks Approved!

The draft was held at Buffalo Wild Wings.
Our leagues rookies are Don Clark, Jonell Romanus and Jeff Gager. Let the hazing begin!
Someone ordered chicken wings. Much beer was consumed.
Justin kept pleading with Sean to draft Mark Sanchez, but he withstood the onslaught!
Danny was defiant about every SRQ 2012 rule and/or league setting.
Erin has a 8.333% chance of TRI-Peating!
The draft lasted 4 days and 13 hours.

Ok. Onto the season predictions!
I am evaluating each team on a surface view, which is completely biased on my gut feeling towards the 3 top players on each team from the QB, RB & WR position. Also a quick glance at the #2 RB & WR & TE position for depth, as having Gronk or Aaron Hernandez is better then having sume dude named Martellus or Kellen Winslow… poor, poor Kellen!

I have a minimal filter, and I mean nothing personal by the below word beatin’ Immabout to give you… but then again,remember my predictions from last season? Not exactly spot on!

Team Flounder, I mean Team Pounder!
Tom Brady is always good news to see headlining a fantasy roster. A.J. Green and a healthy Andre Johnson also make for nice bookends. It gets kind of awkward from there, but Don is a newbie to the league, although we assume he has watched football on a television at some point. Enjoy Trent Richardson and Beanie Wells decisions each week!
2012 Qwik Pik – (3-9)

Team Drumseteabagger
Look, we hate being this negative so early in the season, but looking at the top 3, its a fair amount of upside but cataclysmic downside. RG3 could be a productive QB in Washington, but he could also throw 2 picks and fumble the ball most games, just as easy. Same with Adrian Peterson, in that he can be a fantastic RB or get hurt and leave a gaping hole (sss-sss-sss) at a most important position! The depth on this team seems thin, but then, I may have said the same thing about Cam Newton last year.
2012 Qwik Pik – (4-8)

Team That’s One in a Row
Jared. We meet again. After last years renaissance, we felt J-Clark would be able to build on that momentum. But alas, it would appear on paper to look less then promising. Tony Romo is a risky pick, albeit a solid producer, but a risky pick. Tough to trust Dallas this season.
Marshawn Lynch is in unvoluntary beast mode due to back spasms and a possible league suspension lingering over his gold grilled head. Jamal Charles may be a stud, or he may revert to being a recovering ACL tear running back with a solid backup in Hillis. All risky bets. We like some risk, but not this much. The House always wins!
2012 Qwik Pik – (5-7)

Team Gippers Gangsters

Upside… Best QB in history. Downside… 36+, 2 neck surgeries, playing outdoors 15 times versus the Indy Dome, new receivers and system. Its a tough call on this team. They have the chops to hang, but I can easily see them being a tough luck loser more often then not. Such is fantasy football life.
2012 Qwik Pik – (5-7)

Team Victory Cruz

And that makes 3 clarks all below the important .500 line. Next season we’ll have to get Lisa, Rachel & Aubrey so they can show you guys how its done. Its not easy to type, im laughing so hard. Ok, seriously, this team has moxy, we like Mojo and Cam and Cruz, but someone has to be tough luck loser. When I called my Psychic, Ruby. She said her Tarot cards all came up short on Gore and the Steelers defense and just read, Fantasy Failure.
2012 Qwik Pik – (5-7)

Rodgers Doodle Doo
Say it aint so Rooster. Although, props on a fantastic team name to start the season off!! Rodgers will crush again this year and O.G. Fitzy will certainly deliver some solid points, but my knees buckle when I think of Michael Turner and Shonn Greene. Remember when Turner was nicknamed, “The Burner” back in 1984? I’m trying to say he’s slow. Like a Hoveround or driving on US 41 by Bahia Vista.
2012 Qwik Pik – (6-6)

REMINDER — All of this is a crapshoot, so bare that in mind as I proceed. Like, I really have any clue how Hakeem Nicks’s surgically repaired foot holds up or if Chris Johnson is going to suck as bad as he did last season… But I digress….

Your Playoff Teams are as follows;

Team A-Shift
I’m listing them here because they are GM’d by a rookie to our league, but I like this team. I like this team so much, I want to take them behind the middle school and get them pregnant. What’s not too like… Ray Rice, Jimmy Graham, Matty Ice Ryan in a new passing offense with Julio and Roddy and Brandon Lloyd. Good stuff. It could also be fool’s gold and all come crashing down with one swift injury. Imagine this team with DeAngelo filling in for Ray Rice… Yikes!
2012 Qwik Pik – (6-6)

Team Bowe and Staff
Oh Danny Boy! I think Danny figured this fantasy football thing out. Avoid LeSean McCoy and grab players with “J”‘s in their names… Julio Jones, Jordy Nelson, Chris Johnson, BenJarvus, etc… Just wishing the jubilant jivetastic best to the Jibroni’s (I know its a G) at Bowe and Staff!
2012 Qwik Pik (7-5)

Team My, My, My Bironas
You know you love Drew Brees! The rest of this team is built to score points… and just keep scoring points until you beg for Mercy! Wes Welker, the “unbreakable” Ryan Matthews, Percy Harvin and Steven Jackson… This team could score 160 one week and drop 70 the next. Stability say hello to my little friend, Topsy-Turvy
2012 Qwik Pik (7-5)

Team 3-Peat Zalla
Momma said Knock You Out! And she will. Lots of “If’s” here, but we are going on track record. Greg Jennings and his concussions, Antonio Gates and his glass legs, Arian Foster and Ben Tate in the mix, Ahmad Bradshaw and his myriad of injuries. This team could easily finish (4-8), but if history rings true, they won’t.
2012 Qwik Pik (8-4)

Team Jace Invaders
Another fantastic team name! Also another Zaller. Look, this team is friggin solid and the only reason we don’t have them winning this league is the fact that the defense is not quite as strong as the next team, the WR depth drops a bit and the TE Tamme is not Vernon Davis. Now, having said all that, the Seahawks defense could be scary good at home, Tamme and luck could become clairvoyant pals and Pierre Garcon could be RG3’s best weapon. Maybe. Maybe not. We think not. But I still hope to only see this team once, as LeSean, Fred Jackson, Brandon Marshall and a healthy Vick spell trouble for most other teams…
2012 Qwik Pik (8-4)

Team In-Zane in the Membrane
Great Team Name once again! Shit. Another Zaller. I swear I didn’t get my season entrance fee waived by writing this. I just adore this team. The depth is deep. <—- I'm positive this is negative! I’m getting loopy writing this as its been a long day! Jay Cutler should have a strong season, Forte as well, Sproles will continue to score all kinds of points and the 49ers defense is insane for sure… WR depth looks solid as well with a couple homerun hitters in DeSean and Hakeem. We really like Ben Tate as a flex play as well. Strong pick!
2012 Qwik Pik (10-2)

After typing this all out and re-reading it… I feel dirty and hate myself a little bit. Time to go watch Leaving Las Vegas!

Let the comments trickle in.

Paulie, you can send the check to Dreznin Industries, P.O. Box Yo Momma, SRQ

The Perspective — NFL Conference Championship Predictions – SF/NYG and BALT/NE

The Perspective — NFL Conference Championship Predictions – SF/NYG and BALT/NE

I could have used some more ....

Finished 2-2 last week. I certainly could have used some more cowbell.

That puts me at 5-3 after two NFL playoff rounds. With 3 picks left.

I’m going to try to keep bias out of this and run the table.

Straight up…

San Francisco – 24
New York Giants – 21

David Akers is the Hero.

New England – 35
Baltimore – 24

Duh. Tom Brady & Gronkowski are the Bread and Butter here.

Some professional sports writers picks and cumulative prediction records as well.

Bill Simmons – Grantland

Peter King – Sports Illustrated

The Yahoo Talking Heads – Silver, Carpenter

SB*Nation –

Best of luck in your picks and I hope the games are fun to watch!!

Week 11 Fantasy Football Picks & Week 10 Recap – The Perspective – Ay Carumba!

Week 11 Fantasy Football Picks & Week 10 Recap – The Perspective – Ay Carumba!

Time to take off your rose colored goggles and focus on reality… This is anybody’s league right now and this is a BIG week!

Funny Poster

My picks for Week 10 were as follows;

THE REAL MCCOY (6-3) VS. ZALLERS BALLAS (5-4)
PICK — TRM – 139 ZB – 127
REAL — ZB – 198 TRM – 132
Another week of facing the highest scoring team and finishing with the second highest score in the league!! Yay!

THE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE (6-3) VS. BATTLE CRY LEROY JENKINS (5-4)
PICK — TTS – 130 BCLJ – 128
REAL — TTS – 110 BCLJ – 106
Yeah, I’m that good!

BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE (5-4) VS. DOBACK & HUFF (3-6)
PICK — D&H – 122 BGTD – 121
REAL — BGTD -126 D&H – 63
Dude.

ONE IN A ROW (4-5) VS. THE PEACOCK SLAYER (2-7)
PICK — TPS – 149 T1IAR – 147
REAL — TPS – 116 T1IAR – 116
There are ties in this league??? WTF? This win should have gone to the Peacocks due to higher scoring Bench. Just Saying.

1-2-1 this past week. 15-8-1 overall.

Here are the Week 11 prognostications…

This weeks matchups are going to be compared to Caddyshack characters, as I find myself in good spirits and with some extra time on my hands.

“PS – Steve, text me about borrowing the bike this weekend! I’ll give it to you half price for throwing this weeks game! Wait a minute, did I hit ‘reply’ or ‘reply to all'”…

The “Spaulding Smails” Matchup –

DOBACK & HUFF (3-7) VS. THE PEACOCK SLAYER (2-7-1)
I remember when drafting Cam Newton & Miles Austin seemed like good ideas. I also can recall when the Peacock Slayers actually slayed a Peacock, which sounds creepily like a Rest Stop term for a handjob or something. (Where’s my hand sanitizer…ewwww…)
I have no idea what to guess here, so let’s say…
D&H – 122 TPS – 122 ANOTHER TIE!!!

The “Al Czervik” Matchup –

THE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE (7-3) VS. THATS ONE IN A ROW (4-5-1)
Well, well, well. 1st place TTS faces a team that is techinically alive due to a tie. So be it. This matchup is soooo Al Czervik in the sense that it gets no respect! 1 in a Row has a real chance to change his own fortunes and make a last stand for the playoffs by defeating the top team which has been less then impressive. This battle comes down to which replacement players for the BYE players does better. Reggie Bush in for Arian Foster (vs) Matt Moore in for Drew Brees. Both large downgrades, but both should do reasonably well.
Our Crazy Ass Prediction — T1IAR – 138 TTS – 130

The “Carl Spackler” Matchup –

“It’s in the Hole!”
ZALLA’S BALLER’S (6-4) VS. BATTLE CRY – LEEROY JENKINS (5-5)
This matchup is Carl Spackler all day long. Not overly educated, a bit of a lisp, sweat stains in the pits, raw hate of gophers and love of homemade wine. It’s straight Kentucky Bluegrass Hybrid Grass… play 36 holes on it in the afternoon and just get stoned off it later that night! CANNONBALL COMING!!

Too much firepower for ZB’s continues the streaking Leeroy’s…streak.
ZB’s – 124 BCLJ – 103

The “Judge Smails” Matchup –

BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE (6-4) VS. THE REAL MCCOY (6-4)
The odds that Boom scores the league high score this week are good, namely because he is facing arch nemesis TRM! I think I heard something go BOOM. Maybe it was the tension in the room. If BOOM’s fill in’s handle their business, this is gonna be a good matchup. If Carson Palmer goes all “Rosy Palmer” on BOOM, then its a snooze fest.
We think the latter applies as Romo & Rodgers bring the SPANX this week. “YOU’LL GET NOTHING & LIKE IT!” ~ Judge Smails

TRM – 148 BGTD – 133

Have a great week kiddies and don’t forget to pay it forward. Do something random like pay a toll for the person behind you or buy the next coffee for the person in line. It will come back in spades!

Week 8 Fantasy Football Picks

Week 8 Fantasy Football Picks

If triathlon was easy, they'd call it football!

Heading into this week 8’s battles, I find myself 7-5 on my picks as I went 3-1 last week.

I will be doing my first full Ironman in Panama City on Saturday November 5th, so I most likely won’t be writing much next week, if at all. Let alone being able to control my appendages and limbs…

Ironman Florida

So here goes.

Short and Sweet.

THE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE (6-1) VS. DOBACK AND HUFF (2-5)
I’m Feeling Doback on this one.
D&H – 155 TTS – 145

BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE (5-2) VS. BATTLE CRY-LEE ROY JENKINS (3-4)
Brothers forced to do battle! De-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-DE….BrrrraaAAAH, BrrrrraaaAAAAH!
As much as it pains me too say this… Here comes Paulie.
BCLJ – 161 BGTD – 127

THE REAL MCCOY (4-3) VS. THE PEACOCK SLAYER (2-5)
The muck of this league. The middle class. This is make or break for both of these teams, more so, PEACOCK’s, but important to both, nonetheless. The same can be said of the other (4-3) vs. (2-5) game as well.
It looks easy to call this one, so I’m going with it.
TRM – 133 TPS – 131

ZALLAS BALLERS (4-3) VS. THATS ONE IN A ROW (2-5)
Gonna have to make it two in a row to stay alive in the playoff hunt. Zalla’s need to win to maintain comfortable playoff cushion. Lose and its gone as 3 teams are vying for the 4th playoff spot currently.
This should be another close one.
ZB – 117 T1IAR – 116

“It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.”